a three game season

the Mets are tied with the Phillies for first place in the NL East. After 135 days alone at the top of the division, we've lost it, literally and figuratively. The offense has done everything it can for two weeks, and the bullpen has consistently lost it for the team. That's got to take a toll after a while, got to kill the spirit of the offense, because it seems like no matter how big the lead lead, you can't win. Period.

it all feels a little unreal to me right now, just like it felt unreal when the season was over in Game 7 of the League Series last year. it took a couple of days to realize that I wasn't going to see the Mets play again for five months, and it took seeing that other teams were still playing when the Mets were not to make it sink in. it's something like that right now, except without the reality check of other teams continuing to play while the Mets were no longer. I know this is a spectacular flame-out and perhaps the biggest story in baseball this week, but I must be protecting myself by being emotionally distant from the fact that I may not get to use my post-season tickets. and for some unnameable reason, I am still optimistic that the Mets will make the playoffs-- which is probably another facet of the denial I'm clearly engaging in.

this hurts, but it's not over yet.